Welcome to my blog
| About me - Si Ekin |
| Cape Town |
I hope you enjoy some of my thoughts around goal setting, courage and story-telling.
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Take Heart
Often when we are in breakdown, we look at successful people and wonder how they did it.
The truth is, many successful people took a long time to get there, and not without their fair share of failure along the way. Consider the following examples:
• Henry Ford’s early businesses failed and left him broke five times before he founded the Ford Motor Company. • When Jerry Seinfeld first walked on stage at a comedy club he was jeered and booed off. • Before JK Rowling became the ph... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Wednesday, September 28, 2011,
In :
Networking
In putting this piece together, I wondered what would be inspiring – both to write, and hopefully read – and it came up again; tell a story.
When I think of networking, I think of connecting, togetherness, sharing, magic and opportunities. As I have said before, “no man is an island, entire of itself…” If I share an apple with you I get less apple (but hopefully feel better!) but if I share an idea with you, we get way more than 1+1=2. We actually create infinite possibilities.
Netwo... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Wednesday, September 7, 2011,
In :
Networking
Why network?
Well, we are all one big network, connected with each other. If you don't network, nothing happens.
When we network, we: • Meet new people (and relationships are everything in life and business. I will repeat that. Everything!) • Get what we want, ultimately. • Contribute to others. • Learn new stuff. • Embark on a magical mystery tour. You just never know who you will meet or what will happen.
I think people misunderstand what networking is and is not:
• It is not about g... Continue reading ...
Each week, I am going to submit a blog post around one of my twelve core modules. We are now in September and with four months to go until the end of year, this module is NETWORKING. Yip, it is time to get out there from behind the desk, move away from the comfortable and be invited to go and network, even if it is just connecting with someone you have not done so for a while.
Each month the module will take the form of:
1. What is it? 2. Why do it? 3. Who should do it? 4. How should you do it? 5. ... Continue reading ...
Day 90. 29th July.
Today is the last day. Actually, it is day 89 of 90 because of the one day I missed when I was sick, but I am making up that one tomorrow.
It seemed very strange coming to end of this marathon. Strange because at the beginning, like Mount Everest, it seemed such a long, long way off, and now, all of a sudden, I am at the summit and it is done. And part of me is asking, “is that it?” With the other half, trying to grasp the accomplishment of taking on my deepest fears ev...
Day 88. 27th July.
It was the turn of the Vineyard Hotel again and four people having tea on the terrace. There were two sisters- one working in the US embassy in Kathmandu - and an old friend from England. One of the guys got up, and offered me his chair, I sense before he really knew what I was about and seemed to think it was quite funny to stitch them up with a crank! (I certainly laughed.)
They seemed to get the message and I was pretty aware and sensitive to when my job was done.
I don... Continue reading ...
Day 87. 26th July. What is your blank canvas?
I was going to see Bradley from Platinum Seed about my website and walked passed a beautiful sign saying canvas. I peered round the corner and saw a lovely note on the wall, all about stretching and thinking differently. And I thought, “well, if I cannot do it here, where can I?!”
I did not realise that Platinum Seed used the same entrance and when I stepped forth to speak, Bradley, whom I was meeting greeted me (I was early!) I explained that ... Continue reading ...
Day 85. 24 July. Go for it! (Right now.)
We had just been on a Sunday drive and our youngest, Neo, had been crying when I pulled up to Woolworths to get some coffee for my wife. I had a plan to do the talk later tonight as I was going to Cavendish for a meeting with some guys I am working with.
And there I was, stuck in the queue and hey presto! Why not do it now. I had fun, it was totally great and relaxed and one guy in front was looking at me quizzically and when I had finished, he said, ... Continue reading ...
Day 84. 23 July. Oh just do it!
A great and welcoming bunch of four who were just so open and excited to hear my message! Don’t you love it!
As I was talking, one of them, Le Roux (first name I guess) said he remembered me from when I was in the Bandwidth Barn – a place I used to work in some years ago.
One of the group suggested that I target people who are really difficult to approach, like sports and movie stars. I thought, indeed! And then remembered that the process is the same, whoever... Continue reading ...
Day 82. 22 July. Who or what is round the next corner?
Did an evening one, due to bad planning. In fact, I did three, all in 30 minutes.
First up were two young students on a bench looking quite pre occupied. I think one of them was really trying to process something, but I think I made a difference. It seemed like a strange thing to do on at 30h30 on a Friday night. One of them seemed to really get the message. I just sensed as I walked past the first time, that they would benefit from the me... Continue reading ...
Day 82. 21 July. At One With Taxi Drivers.
I had seen them huddled around a hundred times. But you know, eish, taxi drivers, they are a certain type, aren’t they?
Well yes, they are human beings. And once again, human beings never fail to amaze me. Here is a picture of them.
They were full of banter and humour. Full of dreams, frustrations and confusion, just like any human being. Cassim wanted help in starting a business, as did Jerome. They all acknowledged they had fears, even if they di... Continue reading ...
Day 81. 20th July. Hunt for it. It is there…
I wanted to get it done early today and out the way. I also trusted that it would really set up my day well.
It was early and coffee shops were perfect and I eventually went to Col’Cacchio Pizza Restaurant where I asked the assembled group of 4 if they were staff or customers. They were staff. I produced the magic two minute timer and off I went.
They really got it.
They asked about the most difficult ones I had done.
I parted company shouting ov... Continue reading ...
Day 80. 19th July. “I will do it today!”
I just headed out and there just seemed to be so many groups to choose from, partly because it was lunch time and partly because it was a beautiful day.
I got chatting with three women. I sat down opposite them on a walkway. They were so great and relaxed. It turned out that one of them needed to have a conversation and resolved to speak to them today. She said they have been talking about them as I had pulled up. I sensed that she really got it and... Continue reading ...
Day 79. 18th July. Nelson Mandela’s birthday. It was the great man's birthday today. I shudder to wonder where we would all be, how our lives would be different if it was not for him and his courage and commitment.
I approached a crowd at a table in Harfield Village. They seemed to be quite well into their drinks, but the street was pretty deserted and so I headed over.
I was granted 1 min and 50 seconds amidst much laughter.
There was a mother and partner with a son and his business partner... Continue reading ...
Day 78. 17th July. Great idea for Mandela’s birthday.
I had an interesting thought today, in the shower: “wow, there are some people today, who are going to be sat around and will be approached by me, and who knows what will happen after that. It is quite a thought. I think we change peoples’ lives all the time in ways we can never imagine.)
I headed out for my stock venue of Cavendish Mall and approached three folk at the Seattle Coffee shop in Exclusive Books. They could not have been a... Continue reading ...
Day 77. 16th July. As long as you don’t cause me pain.
Two interactions - I have called them talks, but they are becoming more like interactions or conversations – in 20 minutes.
One was a delightful woman called Nina who was “shone the light” for people and like me, coaches people. She was hanging out Melissa's Cafe. She could not have been more engaging. I really wanted to interact with a group so I headed back to Barristers, where I have had some very successful interactions.
I foun... Continue reading ...
Sorry, I have been having a frustrating time with loading my blog posts. Here is day 69-74. Day 74 13th July. Surprises galore.
I met with my friend, Adrian at the Vineyard Hotel. Adrian has business under the Amway umbrella. People say I am courageous, but I reckon Amway people are way braver! (It is sad that it has a bad name for so many people, as it is a great product and with great systems etc)
Anyway, Adrian knows about my project and elected to introduce me to a group of four elderly pe... Continue reading ...
Day 63. 2nd July. What is commitment?
I went to the semi-final of the Super Rugby Competition between The Stormers and The Crusaders, having been invited by a client for a delightful VIP experience in their box. Fabulous stuff; loved it.
I walked him after a few beers to bath my daughter to have sushi and wine with my wife. It was a fantastic way to end a great day.
I don’t feel like posting this blog. I really want to be in bed right now or just chilling out in front of the TV, flicking from ... Continue reading ...
Day 61. 30th June. Guided by the milk.
I was guided by the milk. Well, we needed milk, so I headed out and let my journey guide me. I ended up at my old friend the Vineyard. I sat in the car, just thinking, breathing, feeling for what was right.
Finally, I found three Likely Heroes in the smoking section of the hotel. They were waiting to meet their “guitar hero”, Antonio Forcione. We had such a great chat.
Again, there are no strangers, only people I have not yet met.
Continue reading ...
90 Talks in 90 Days. Day 28. 28th May.
I watched Playing The Enemy (based on the book by John Carlin, and made into the feature film, Invictus, directed by Clint Eastwood), a remarkable documentary about the story behind South Africa's 1995 Rugby World Cup victory and how Nelson Mandela so skilfully and strategically used it as a critical platform for South Africa's transformation. I felt really emotional at how courageous he had been. How he lead South Africans - and especially black people -... Continue reading ...
90 Talks in 90 Days. Day 26.
After much Tab-bing (new word, mean Talk Avoidance Behaviour) and Bab-ing (Blog Avoidance Behaviour) I had a cracking night of doing five talks! Still only count as one night though!
So, in relative haste and with great excitement - and yearning for bed - here is what happened:
I pulled up to get fuel at about 20h00 and met the attendant, whose name was Sophie. We had a nice exchange. I did not have any change for her, but I gave her a mini talk about the power of co... Continue reading ...
Get On The Bus - 90 Talks In 90 Days. Day 25. A film crew day today. On home turf again and the first time with film guys from The Fort. The Cavendish staff asked us to make sure we got permission to film. Of course, not! One of my core principles is that it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Asking permission would just ruin it for red tape. This is life in action guys, trust me, you are going to want it going on on your turf!We did three takes. Two were well, not great at all.... Continue reading ...
Get On The Bus! 90 talks in 90 days. Day 24. It is 23h05 and just got back from my latest one yet, this time, again, at the Vineyard Hotel. I had a meeting that ran late and needed to go back to the office to pick up my laptop. I considered my "safe bets" of the local garage, Cavendish Centre (mostly closing up) and The Vineyard, which I settled on, mainly because I think that the people will most probably be influential and will be more of a position to hear my message and possibly act on it.... Continue reading ...
Get On The Bus! 90 Talks In 90 Days. Day 23. I am typing this blog listening to Bob Marley's "One Love" which feels good.
I cruised around Cavendish Square again, with about 40 minutes before my next meeting. Looking here, looking there, none of them seemed quite right. Finally, and starting to feel like a strange wandering man again, I settled on a Virgin Mobile store, tucked away in the corner, almost underneath the escalator. I could not believe my luck - there were about 9 people and all ... Continue reading ...
Get On The Bus! 90 Talks In 90 Days. Day 22.
I decided to spice it up a bit and start talking to people about the "predictable future" of our lives; how most of us live a dress rehearsal for the real life - not this pretend life - that starts tomorrow, or next week, or when the dream job or perfect partner comes along. That which we use to con ourselves out of it is only ever about now.
Engen Garage, Claremont it was, near to the cricket stadium. I had visualised a particular spot - against t... Continue reading ...
Get On The Bus! 90 Talks In 90 days. Day 21.Bit of a team effort going down today. I dashed out to do the weekly shopping and popped in to see my pal Mirinda at The Fresh Stop. She suggested I do the talk upstairs to her three managers who might benefit from the talk, but I have met one of them so I didn't feel like it was a pukka talk. I spotted a group of five women - two probable mums and three probable daughters and their friends - across the street and headed on over. Not before Mirinda ... Continue reading ...
Get On The Bus! 90 talks in 90 days. Day 19.
So there I am, 15 minutes before a meeting in town. I know that I can do the talk in two minutes, so I go on the hunt. Two people there, one person there...and I come round the corner and see a large group of about 20 people. As I approach, they have a foreign feel about them and so I launch right in with a guess, judging by the attire, beetle-stained teeth and Punjabi trousers. Yes indeed, they are from India.It seems natural to talk cricket, espec... Continue reading ...
Get On The Bus. 90 talks in 90 days. Day 18. It was voting today so I knew people would be around. I hopped in my car and did a cruise, heading off towards Starlings Cafe, one of my most favourite spots. I had about 15 minutes - about as much time as it would take my wife to feed our youngest daughter. I had not expected it to be open and was really surprised and delighted that it was, especially as I went round the back and through the curtain that covered the back gate, heard much merriment ... Continue reading ...
My wife and I made an agreement that these talks must be in my own time, not family time. Today being Sunday, after all my "duties" were done, I headed off at 21h00 t o the Vineyard Hotel, one of my favourite places. Trouble is when I got there, it was pretty much deserted.
A crowd of about 8 people were saying goodbye to each at the entrance and it felt inappropriate (there is that word again! There is always a reason, right?!) so I carried on in and in the dining room, there was just one ta... Continue reading ...
A belter of day. Some amazing things happened. Started off with going for a coffee and coming across a young guy called George who was down from Jo'burg with some work colleagues, who was dressed in an impeccable suit, carrying a wheelie suit-case, as was I. I told him that the only difference between us was that, despite us both being men, and carrying cases, he was much better dressed than I. He seemed to enjoy that. I could have counted that as my talk, but my heart was not beating quickly ... Continue reading ...
Today was a rocker! A filming day, so I linked up with Marnus from The Fort with his camera and we walked down to Parliament. A pretty wet and cold day so no one out on the streets having their coffees. Went into a restaurant to ask the owner if he would mind us filming. He did. Okay, great. Next!Walked past the IDASA (Institute for Democratic South Africa) and a large group caught my eye. Perfect, I exclaimed to a surprised Marnus. A group of about 12 youngsters (early 20's) were having coff... Continue reading ...
So there I am, going up the escalators at Cavendish Square, the local mall and suddenly catching a wake up call that if I don't grab the opportunity to speak soon, I am going to wondering off the local garage at 21h00, or the laundrette! Just as I approached a table of 4 women, they all got up to leave (strange that, you might say!) and I kind of knew that the timing was off. They wanted to get back to work and looked as if they were in a hurry. I did my piece. I had my say. They just weren't ... Continue reading ...
D-Day! I got started. Talk 1 or 90 consecutive talks to strangers complete. Confronting about my biggest fear and I am..still alive! Okay here’s what happened and what I reflected on… Firstly it took nearly all day to actually commit to where and when to do it before finally resting on Kirstenbosch Gardens (thanks to my beloved wife, great idea Love!) at 16h00. This was after a fine lunch of lamb stew, followed by ice cream with coffee poured over it and two glasses of red wine. The fear (d... Continue reading ...
As I approach 1st May, I am trying not to make a big deal of it, but I am full of stuff in my mind. I also see that it is a great journey to be on - clarity...confusion...excitement...nervousness... I get that fundamentally, the project is about inspiring others to be courageous through authenticity. I had a great conversation with my friend Roland Cox today. His job is to make sure I keep on an even keel. I spoke to him about some of the challenges I am facing and the thoughts I have been havi... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Monday, April 11, 2011,
I noticed I have been making excuses about my exercise for quite some time now. I mean, they are plausible after all: a 4 year old to look after, a 3 month old, kids bath times, running a business, being a husband, cooking. The list seems to go on and on. And yet, tough it might be to swallow, they are reasons, if they get in the way of what I say is important to me. I remembered this great line from Rudyard Kipling's "If", and resolved to do something about it. After all, I don't actually nee... Continue reading ...
After the world cup, I thought, “Wow, if we can do this, we can do anything!” And, whilst I firmly believe that, I think that Big Brother FIFA was actually the reason. Bottom line was that if we did not deliver, there were going to be serious consequences, like, Australia hosting it! So, we delivered it and the rest is history. War largely stopped on the planet as a result. If one life was spared then it was worth it. So, what was it? Attention and accountability - what you put your atten... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Sunday, August 15, 2010,
In :
Support
Hi, you might find this useful. I have been a journal writer since I was 16 and over the years have used different format and am finding that this current one is working for me. Try out it, or chop and change it. Send me your views, would love to know how mine could be improved. Si. Date:
Weather:What is present? (streams of consciousness):What did I say I would do today and did I do it?General report:Grateful for: (highlight, most proud of etc)Biggest adversity and gift from it:Did great (ackno... Continue reading ...
Some years ago I cycled from Cape Town to my then home town of Moreton-in-Marsh in England with a partner. (You have to love the name don't you? Close to Barton-in-the-Beans, Upper Slaughter and Wyre Piddle!) It was an incredible journey that took 14 months, traversed 21 countries, covered a distance of 13,000 kilometres. I got three attacks of malaria, saw the wheels go round a staggering 17 million times, and got 85 punctures. It was a key experience in my life and to this day, has informed m... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Thursday, June 24, 2010,
In :
Support
I have just re-done my website and have had some great feedback. The most important by far has been constructive criticism that I have immediately been able to act on and edit right away (thank you Yola!) The quote in the title is from Shakespeare's Hamlet, and I am once again reminded how wonderful an opportunity it is if we I suspend my and really open up to contribution from others. Special mention goes to an amazing man, Moses Ngobeni who has given me some great feedback. He has also writte... Continue reading ...
Wow, I was so priviledged to get tickets to England vs Algeria last night at the FIFA World Cup TM (Yes, I am playing with seeing if I can leap frog off FIFA to get more traffic to my blog!) England were woeful, but then they pretty much always have been. Congratulations Algeria for adding some serious fizz and energy to the game. Someone had to to it! What was extraordinary, was the experience from start to finish - parking at the station has been organised with car guards and spotlights, a gr... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Friday, June 4, 2010,
In :
Reality
I spent some great time with my good friend and wise man, Mike this week. We meet every now and then and share stories and exchange ideas and insights. I told him about the GOAL GYM and how excited I am about it and that is it essentially not a lot more than, "what you put “what you put your attention on grows”. He like that, which was good to know! I got that we are either focusing on what works or what doesn't and we can choose at any time to shift our focus. And has we keep our focus,... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Thursday, May 27, 2010,
In :
Stepping out
Today I created as being an "all tick day." A day when I planned it and delivered on what I said. I was mindful in setting up realistic targets but also ones that I knew would be a stretch. So, I get to 21:15 at night and there are still four things I have done that I most certainly don't feel like doing. They will take me about 25 minutes. My mind starts with it's usual monologue and thinks it is a great idea to go to bed now, get up early and complete the outstanding days commitments tomorro... Continue reading ...
Posted by Si Ekin on Monday, May 24, 2010,
In :
Stepping out
Time to take my own medicine, a bit of GRASS in this case and just commit. ("Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, a chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness...W.B. Murray) I suffer with my blog, yet I love it. I love it because I have so much great stuff to share and suffer with it because I get caught in the pefection trap (how can you call something perfect that you have not acted on/ have not got?!) and fart about wondering what to put down. So, I am going back to the old AA quote... Continue reading ...
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Current Projects: 1st May - 30 July - 90 Talks In 90 Days Between 1st May and 30th July I embarked on a project: 90 talks in 90 days. I systematically confronted and shattered my deepest fears of rejection, failure and judgement in the hope of inspiring others to do the same. I blogged about it every day and had a crew film it once per week. It was a remarkable, delightful, challenging and absurd journey.
Why 90 Talks In 90 Days? Some years ago I got on a bus in Brixton, London and my life changed forever. I confronted my deepest fear: conquering my fear of rejection by making a speech to passengers on a packed number 59. I was stunned by the power I had within me and my ability to transform a group of complete, disparate strangers. Before, the crowd was positively funereal, after they were more like a rowdy wedding reception. On my way out, I was confronted by an extremely fearful individual and had an experience that makes me smile to this day. I learned that if you confront your fears (illusions) with courage, anything is possible. My life became about helping people to be courageous in pursuit of what is important to them. Here I am, above, doing the talk one morning on a bus at the airport here in Cape Town. Stand by - it might make your toes curl! For videos from the 90 days, look below. |
